This weekend the Government has delivered the news that all in the grassroots football community were dreading – another lockdown (for a minimum of 4 weeks) to hopefully try to get us all through a Christmas period where we can spend much needed and valuable time with our loved ones and friends. The Football Association directs us to agencies and charities who advise and counsel on mental wellbeing and who are there for us to turn to should this recent news drop be causing us concern, anxiety, sadness, fear or mistrust. An empathic ear and non-judgemental voice is just a phone call away; someone to let us know that even in our darkest hours we never have to feel alone….. https://www.thefa.com/news/2020/apr/07/heads-up-and-mental-health-during-coronavirus-080420
CALM – (Campaign Against Living Miserably) have a helpline which is open 5pm to midnight; 365 days of the year 0800 58 58 58 https://www.thecalmzone.net/2020/03/a-little-help-to-get-you-through-these-weird-times/
MIND – https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/ 0300 123 3393
EVERY MIND MATTERS https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/coronavirus-covid-19-anxiety-tips/
SHOUT – Text “SHOUT” to 85258 – https://giveusashout.org/
SAMARITANS – phone 116 123 – https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
HOPELINE UK – Call 0800 068 41 41 or Text 07786 209697
PAPYRUS (Suicide is the biggest killer of the under 35’s in the UK. Over 200 school children are lost to suicide every year. Advice for those needing to ‘Spot the Signs’) – call 0800 068 4141 https://www.papyrus-uk.org/help-advice/
CHILDLINE – under 19’s – freephone 0800 11 11 (phone number will NOT show on bill) –https://www.childline.org.uk/

MIND UK’s video about ‘Talking About Mental Health’ gives great tips for listening and getting children to open up about their mental health concerns 

Don’t be afraid to start the conversation. Ask yourself these questions about your child:
Does my child…

• Often seem sad, tired, restless, or out of sorts?
• Spend a lot of time alone?
• Have low self-esteem?
• Have trouble getting along with family, friends, and peers?
• Have frequent outbursts of shouting, complaining, or crying?
• Have trouble performing or behaving in school?
• Show sudden changes in eating patterns?
• Sleep too much or not enough?
• Have trouble paying attention or concentrating on tasks like homework?
• Seem to have lost interest in hobbies like music or sports?
• Show signs of using drugs and/or alcohol?
• Talk about death or suicide?

If you answered yes to 4 or more of these questions, and these behaviours last longer than 2 weeks, you should seek professional help for your child.

Don’t be afraid to open up communication with your child/ren DIRECTLY:

For concerns over possible anxiety ask them:
Is anything worrying you?
What are you doing during recess? Who are you spending time with?
How is your body feeling? Are you having stomach or headaches?
Is it easy for you to fall asleep?
Is something making you scared?
Do you have any problem paying attention?

For depression (which can go hand in hand with anxiety, and vice versa), ask your child these questions:
Do you feel sad?
Have you been feeling cranky?
Do you know what’s bothering you?
Who are your friends now? What do you do with them?
Do you sometimes wish you weren’t alive at all?
For possible bullying, ask:
Does bullying happen in your school? Have you seen anyone being bullied?
Does anyone bother you at school? Has anyone hit you?
Has anything really frightening happened to you?

Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions! Asking about thoughts of death, for example, shows it’s okay for your child to share with you; never asking shows them that it’s not. Also
– ask yourself how your behaviour is changing because of your child’s difficulties.

Talk is key. Keeping the lines of communication open for them to talk and you to listen – is vital. Don’t worry about being the ‘perfect’ parent/carer/guardian – good enough is GOOD ENOUGH. Be there for the young people in your life. Be non-judgemental, be calm, be empathic and most importantly – be present. Who knows what you might uncover if you start the conversation now, and what you might help them avoid or learn strategies to deal with in the interim……..